Men don't need lectures

Think about it… in primary school you couldn’t wait to get to high school because that was going to be so much better, right? Only when you got to high school, the new promise was that once you got to uni then you’re going to be so much happier. Again though, that wasn’t the case…until you got that first job. Now you’re free and working where you always wanted. Life’s good, right? Until you realise now you need a promotion, a new car and a house in order to feel like you’ve “made it”.   

So often we blokes believe that when we have more money, a bigger house, a good job, a great body, and attractive partner then we’ll be that elusive “successful”. What’s more, we think that the only way we can reach this is by “sucking it up” and out working, smarting and training the next guy. 

These are the lectures that most men live with, only the lecturer isn’t our partner, parents or boss…it’s our own mind and I call bullshit. If achieving more stuff was going work, it would have by now. If working or training harder was going to work, it would have by now. 

We get a short term “shot of value” from external achievements and then our mind conveniently shifts the goal posts and we keep playing the game!  I have a radical and unheard of idea - how about, instead of striving for “successful” we strive for HAPPINESS.   How about instead of “more” we strive for BALANCE. And how about instead of “competition” we strive for CONNECTION and MATESHIP. So, how do we go about making this change?  

 I believe it begins with self. If you are in a body that you are truly happy with and nourishing yourself with good stimulus- food, exercise, downtime, playtime and good times it is difficult to feel unfulfilled.  Define what is truly important to yourself. Begin doing what you truly WANT to do rather than what you think you SHOULD be doing. This is a critical step. It’s about getting fit for life- physically, mentally and emotionally.  This is about no longer listening to those lectures in your mind and instead making choices from your heart, because it knows the way. 

Lastly, it’s about connection and mateship. Allowing ourselves to fully be ourselves- to be vulnerable, humble, and raw with our mates, loved ones and with ourselves.  Because when we feel 100% completely accepted as we are, there is no longer any need to strive for anything, and that’s when life becomes really fun.  Anthony Noud is the director of Pure & Lean- a nutrition and mindset coaching company helping people achieve health, happiness and harmony worldwide. www.pureandlean.com.au